Currently clocking in at 48 pages of finished PDF and I havent yet added about 20 pages worth of word documents on the three biggest city-states

This is either insane or awesome

I want to write more so I'm going to be posting the occasional challenge post, where I encourage people to give me a topic, fiction, fact, history, sci-fi, fantasy and I'll do my best to write a paragraph or three  on the subject, just throw some keywords out and I'll see whether it triggers anything.

Fictions prefered but I'll accept anything really

This blog welcomes Tangency folks, pitchforks are on the left, flaming torches are on the right

Ever had a day where your heart cracks through your chest? A drumbeat rings in your ears as it goes into over-driver and your adrenaline spikes.

Its worse at night, when the stillness of the air throbs in the dark with every thump as a thousand thoughts run through your heard. Anything from what to make for dinner to just how to do that little project you always wanted to do just so.

Most of all though is the great unthought hope that sleep will come soon, to get away from everything, to hide from the drums in your dreams until morning.


(I had trouble sleeping last night, I turned to writing and drawing to help)

How bloody cold is it lately? 

Its curbed a few of my plans lately, was hoping to get out and about a bit more but in this weather its painful to leave a single room let alone the house. Have some pics from the main snow day though (Tuesday) and its looking like it'll snow more tomorrow as well.







This really does take me back though, I remember snow like this when I was about 10, 16 odd years ago now. Cant believe I've not seen it like this for so long. I remember my brother trying to get the dog to pull us along a sledge, it never worked though, I was the youngest so a natural test pilot, I'd grip on to the dogs lead tight and get dragged off as he chased after imaginary squirrels/snowballs.

Christmas looms ever closer.

Mum is still suffering from yesterday, she was fine all day until we got a text from my Uncle, this is the first time he's texted in about 8 months. He simply said something like hope your coping alright and all the best.

Trouble is he and my dad didnt speak for about a year before he died, and he's not exactly been a brick during this whole situation. Refusing to help mum clear out some of dads things because "he'd be to upset" so mum had to do it alone back in March or something.

Cooked her a nice meal today anyway, home made spicy pasta sauce with sweet chili and red peppers as she was lying on the sofa feeling sorry for herself all day while I was out killing time until my appointement with the job centre and trawling through the cheap second hand book stores and charity shops that are what passes for commerce around here.

I found out yesterday that I havent been paid any job seekers allowance since September... after I filled out the forms and got my claim transfered from one city to another and got a lump sum back payment. The thing is noone knows why, theres no reason on the claim that its been cancelled or stopped.

Heres the kicker, I got a letter in October saying I was about to run out of contributions towards the payment and made sure with the job centre that it was all going to go ahead anyway based on income instead (You get benefits based on how long and how much you contributed tax and based on your income, you have to be on one of those two options other than that its basically neglible difference between the two.)  so I made sure that was all above board and working fine and coasted along without any problems, or so I thought.

Now how the jobseekers claim works here is that every two weeks you have to go and sign on, so theres been something like 9-10 different occasions I've turned up and been treated like a retard by the bouncers at the centre and had my dignity taken from me and not one person who I've spoken to apart from yesterday has actually said anything to me about no payments being incoming. Not one. No letter, nothing.

Some cheeky fucker actually put on the claim "Why hasnt he noticed he's not getting payments? Have to ask him to bring in bank statements" back in November, the day before I would have had to have sign on.

Admitedly yes, I probably should have checked my account more carefully but when your living at home and spending absolutely fuck all you kind of want to avoid looking at your statement, especially when your living off your savings. You just dont notice the slow trickle of money as it seeps away as you get by on what you can. So I'm going to happily dole out 80% blame on them and take the rest myself out of a sense of fairness, I feel I'm being slightly generous. I had to print of 3 months of bank statements and hand them in today, I'm not expecting anything constructive to happen until after xmas now.

I went to the doctors yesterday as well, I've been having some problems sleeping and feeling like my hearts been going nuts. He's sure its due to stress, I agree with him but he took a couple of blood samples anyway to be sure. Advised me to cut down on caffeine so I drank a fuckload of Camomile tea last night instead of my usual Coke/Tea and slept much better, albeit as late as normal. But I could feel my chest racing as the sheer insanity of the job centre kicked in later in the day.

I'm looking forward to getting Christmas out of the way, I'll be spending a few days with my best mate afterwards. It'll also be nice to get the Wii out and watch my brothers make complete tits of themselves. Next week I intend to do one thing... nothing

It was a year today that my dad died.

Still so hard to believe

And the work for the Tilean project starts to trickle out slowly... This is a version of the Verenan Calendar knocked up by Dottwatson and myself Verenan Calendar

The fog is covering Birmingham like an old blanket today, can see only about a hundred metres before it fades to white

I do like the fog, it hides a multitude of sins, the brown of the city becomes white and makes me feel quite calm. Its the sort of look you get when it snows and we all know that never lasts.

Walking back from the dentists earlier in it and I got in and found my hair covered in water droplets from it. Like raindrops on a spider web, very pretty.

Doesnt stop me from curling up with a cup of tea and a biscuit though

Hmm... so I failed NanoWriMo, I've a ton of ideas but I really do suck at writing them down at all which is most unfortunate thats the plain truth of it.

An alternative excuse is that I've pretty much revived the Tilea book, got fed up of waiting for others and I'm now pitching in with In Design to write it and chased up a new mapper along with some editors, big relief.

I promised myself at the time that I'd see it through, I do have a horrific tendency to start things and give up halfway through, if I'm lucky. So if and when (hopefully middle of December) it is done it really will something to be proud of, especially considering the events of the last year. I think this could pretty much be described as my year of hell. Hopefully its also slightly less lame than that episode...

What I should probably be doing is trying to make friends and even date while up here but frankly, I just cant be arsed. Theres just nothing to really do in this city for a teetotal geek, I cant go out because I havent any associates up here to do things with and those things I want to do are to far away to do (Fencing) or on the wrong day (Roleplaying). I'll do my best to keep up with Warhammer Weekends(tm) but all the interesting stuff, family, visits from best mate from London, tend to happen then

Le sigh

I've also started taking some herbal supplements, they appear to be doing me good so thats a start, I'm also coming around to the idea of having a cup of Camomile tea before bed, it really does seem to help me sleep better. I seem to spend most of my time in bed struggling to nod off otherwise.

Most people know about Trolls, those big ugly bastards made of solid rock, and indeed most people fear them for their strength and brutality.

What they fail to note though is the Trolls natural enemy, the Lichen Centaur, though really its more a parasite. These horse limbed creatures are small, only the size of a small pit-pony at best, barely man high, but they are composed of the same silicon as Trolls themselves and have a fearsome set of teeth with which they paralise their pray with a potent soporific. Victims of the Lichen-Centaur collapse dazed to the ground and lose much of their memory, as much as half a day in some cases as the venom (actually a sulphuric bromide solution) attacks the Trolls brain and causes it to shut down in places.

While the Troll lies dazed the Lichen Centaur lays its tiny eggs into the soft lichen covering the Trolls body, right next to its skin. Within the day the larvae hatch and begin to explore their host, who by now has stumbled back to his cave, confused and worried, and often jump onto other Trolls at this stage (usually the victims mate and litter) where they squirm deep into soft juicy lichen of the new host.

After two to three days the larvae settle down in the deepest crack they can find before building a cocoon under the dirt and lichen, here they anchor themselves to the host and slowly begin to unleash powerful sedatives into the skin before as the cocoon extends hooks and feelers deep inside the hosts body, from which perhaps a dozen new larvae emerge, the true infant Lichen Centaurs. These feast on the trolls relatively soft innards as they grow, causing blindness, paralysis and ultimately death before eating their way out and into the light.

Due to the structure of Troll society and there dependence on physical contact you can see why these little creatures are so feared

Man this is so sweet, a GM proposes to his girlfriend in the middle of a Dark Heresy game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxq71XORjsY

Touched even this cynical bastards heart.

You can find the full story here

No joy on the job front, not enough experience of front line support apparently... or at least other people had more.

Mum is currently reving up for Christmas or trying to, only to find that the decent decorations have gone missing somewhere, thats 20 odd years of shiny baubels and mismatched tinsel, including a nice one given to her just after I was born with my name, birthdate, etc on. She's slightly upset by that.

On the bright side we have now found a box load of pictures and documents of my Grans, a load of miscellaneous birth certificates, death certificates, marriage certificates from the 30's right through to the 80's. We even found copies of my Great Grandparents birth certificates. Great Grandad was born in 1883 and Great Grandma born in 1882, both of there mothers were called Elizabeth and neither of them could write, the papers are marked only with an X. There fathers worked as a Spindle and Flyer Maker and an Operative Cotton Weaver

I'm really going to have to dig out a scanner from somewhere, this stuff is fascinating.

I finally havea job interview for somewhere in Birmingham, I thought the things were non-existant up here!

Its a first line support role/customer service so its not what I'm used to but its with an IT company, with any luck they'll like my technical experience and A+ course... slightly annoying how long I've been sandwiched between 2nd and 1st line support, not enough tech experience for 2nd, to much for 1st...

*twitches*

I thought it was worth a go all things considered...

An extract...

The door of the inn slammed open, the crack of its rebound shattering the conversation of the villagers into fragments. The stranger in the doorway was dressed richly in velvet and silks, a nobleman thought some, a dandy thought the more well travelled of the patrons. With the easy air of the spoiled he smirked and headed towards the bar, little more than a keg of ale on a table, guarded by the owner and his cronies who up to a minute ago had been engaged in a frantic game of dice. Flashing his coin the stranger paid for a tankard of ale, while the rest of the inn settled back to there business once it became clear that there’d be no entertainment from watching him further.

Taking his ale the man wandered over towards the side of the inn, towards the man in black who’d been drinking the same pint since the morning. Sitting down and easing an ornate rapier out of the way of his cloak he stared at him. “You came alone?” the man in black’s voice was deep, the lyrical speech of the free cities really didn’t suit him, “Of course not, my companions are outside, probably looking for a milkmaid to fuck” The dandys speech was clear, enunciated, a song “Yourself?” He dared a sip of the ale, it really wasn’t that bad. “Well if I was to hazard a guess there actually buggering the milkmaid”

Both men clasped hands, “Eagles” they chorused, “Good to see you Lorenzo” “And you Eric, it’s been a while” “Aye, two years last month since I left for the court of the Emperor.” He pulled down his black hood and shot Lorenzo a grin “And now he’s on our doorstep you’ve crawled back?” Lorenzo shot back “You wound me Lorenzo, I came back held high with my mission fulfilled and an army behind me.” "Drink your beer Eric,  we can talk more freely outside."

I find writing dialogue *hard* :(

I had a headache last night...except this wasnt a normal headache, I'm pretty sure it was a migrane, never had one before and never want one again.

I collapsed in bed to sleep hoping the pain would go away about 10pm... normally I dont even contemplate sleeping until midnight (even while working) as my body seems to operate on a 2-10am sleep rythmn, I woke up at 11 and 3am and the pain was still there, it felt like some crushing the front of my skull.

Thankfully I felt alright this morning but even thinking about last night is giving me sympathy pains from my head, a lurking ache waiting to pounce...

I hate getting old :(

Seriously... I've now had five driving lesson since the last entry, about time I got my test and the teachers prodding me to get the theory test out of the way so I need to read up on that. I'm also firmly embedded on a Comptia A+ course until at least Christmas, should add to my l337 skills.  Of course before that was a few days in Prague which was simply awesome, pics can be found here and I'm still hanging around making sure my mum hasnt gone nuts along with finding some new enjoyment in painting, I've done a couple of things I havent touched in years.

The A+ course is starting to trigger parts of the brain left almost untouched since I left College (no Uni for this Thyroidless man) and the theory and electrical side of the components is messing with my maths side... numbers scare me but I'm pushing on. Not to mention that this years a new syllabus and the books for it arent even out yet... (sometime this month apparently)

I'm also really starting to need a job, times running out on my Jobseekers but I'm not finding anything up here at all really, nothing that doesnt involve over an hour of travelling anyway.

Next week things get better though, I'm seeing my best friend and it'll be a blast... I'm really starting to miss London though, it doesnt help that the place is so much better organised in terms of keeping track of clubs and friends online than Birmingham. There I can read what people are up to, see how things are going and I feel like I'm missing out a little

Its getting tiring watching the various internet communities explode as well, its funny how the fans of something feel special, something rare and precious and want to dictate the direction of a product, feel the designers owe them something.

Lets compare the new WFRP fans and the bitter fans of Empire: Total War... Both sides scream on about how the bean counters mess up their favourite thing, how they've a right to a decent product, that how dare the makers not listen to them. While all true enough to some extent they more often than not forget that the company owns the rights, they need to see a profit and so they can do what they like with that product. I guess what annoys me is the vocal side of both arguments, the people who scream betrayal and those who scream back at them "THIS IS AWESOMES!!" At the end of the day these are small minorities, a tiny proportion of the fans and neither group has the right to scream at the other.... its all so bloody pointless.

In WFRP's case, yes its annoying but whining isnt going to solve anything, best to just say if it doesnt interest you and leave well alone, certainly not respond to the "fanboys" taunts of HATER or WHINERS. While E:TW seems to be stuck mainly with people screaming at the designers, now... these people are usually very experienced game players and whats I think the main problem is simply being jaded, being familiar with the design of Total War games, they've played em for years and OH MY GOD IT WAS AWESOME and they want that feeling back. But that cant happen, the first time you discover something its magical, its great and its not something you've seen before, of course its special. Essentially all of the TW games are the same though, just set in different time periods, so eventually it becomes mundane. Take someone like my brother though, he's not a computer player really, he plays games but he doesnt obsess about them, he plays them for fun and doesnt examine the nuts and bolts behind them or fiddle with the settings on em and he gets probably more enjoyment out of E:TW than any of the die hard fans, caught up in the madness of "Why isnt it as great as I remember?" (itself a bit silly, people go on about ninja grappling hooks in E:TW but last time I checked Japanese castles had gates and walls you could stand on... unlike in Shogun)

Both groups could learn a lot from taking a look at each other and  realising there behaviour reflects there own, and is just as silly

Arent always unfriendly.

A couple of days ago I helped my mum clean up the garden, some mowing, some strimming, the usual. After a few minutes scraping and cleaning the drive there was a vertiable pile of scum and crap that needed sweeping together. We swept up together and as you do we talked, mainly about my dad and coping with his death. We finally got rid of everything when we stood in the garage doorway, and seeing as we were there I pointed to the crap next to that, clean it up while we can says I so mum bends down and starts sweeping as she does so saying "I hope your going to buy me some flowers on Wednesday..." Then she spots something... a black felt heart, discarded in the dirt and the old leaves, waiting for her to spot it.

The last part of her sentence? "It would have been our 42nd anniversary on Wednesday"

Visited the Royal Armouries today, was really good. Five floors of military and civilian weaponary goodness from Medieval times to the Modern Day. Couldnt pack everything in to be honest so only visted three floors in the end.

Sadly no pictures but I'll go into that in a minute...

Fourth floor was Eastern and Khanate stuff, an amazing display of weapons from the Middle East through to Japan, along with a display of more civilian methods of defence, it even tempted me towards thinking about taking up Fencing while up here (seeing as there doesnt seem to be any move towards Longsword or Sword and Buckler fencing). The weirdness of some of the Victorian weaponry is incredible... from tiny little repeater pistols to sword sticks, the craftsmanship and details are incredible.


So yeah, after that we both went off and had a chat with the knights in the joust before losing track of each other. Quite proud of myself now, usually I'd have just sat around feeling melanchony. Cant say I'm not jealous though...

This is long overdue but needs to be done...

So, whats happening in my life at the moment, I guess its best to just say what has happened over the last few months for those who missed it

Lets see, Dad died, Family dog died, lost my job and my Grandma died after a few months of being very sick and very old, so its not been good really.

At the moment I've had to move up from London back to the city of my childhood, sunny Birmingham. I'm planning on using this to rest and look after my mum for a bit, I think she needs it, the house is rather large and having spent some time in it on my own it must be driving her a bit mad (well... more mad)

Hoping as well to get some studying under my belt, as proved by the difficulty of finding a job down in London I think I'm going to need to get some qualifications, so I've got a bunch of computer text books to study and lay some groundwork for maybe gaining an MCSA later in the year, towards the end of my time down south a few places had tried to get me in to talk about doing something along those lines, I should really follow that up with one of em at some point. But first I want to get an idea of what it entails

The next few months should see me start to recover at least a little from the events of the last few months, I want to do some writing, some studying and see what happens.